Well I am a neglectful blogger for sure. Yeah I didn't have a computer for over a month so it really hindered things a bit. I actually rambled in a journal for a bit. I almost feel freer to say as I please there...until I think that someone could pick it up and read it anyway. Truth is I haven't had much to say these days.

I suppose I don't want to think about it too much or I might realize how fucked up shit really is. After three years of living alone I am having a hard time adjusting to living with a roommate. it's not like she has ecome another person, she is the same person I have known for 12 years now, I just struggle with sharing space I suppose.

Love is non-existant. Every once in a while I feel like I have my Mr. Big, but all the while know I don't. He serves the purpose of the feel of another human being, and I do like him, but I know it is not like that for him. It keeps the walls up pretty high, the occasional crack or two of course, but they are up for sure.

Sleep beckons so that will be all for now...maybe soon I will feel a bit more open to the mess in my head.

The post that should have been here

Monday, February 8, 2010

Ah a blank page...
Waiting for nightime minutes. Would actually be asleep by now if not for such restrictions.Sure staying up past 9 should be an easy task for someone nocturnal as I, but alas not this evening. This evening I am sleepy. I may have slept through my day actually. Spending too much time these days trying to get out of my head. It isn't working.Yes I want a smoke. I keep telling myself I don't, but it keeps coming back around. I doubt I am strong enough to resist much longer. Almost went to Common Market on the way home, but somehow managed to not turn, go straight, go home.Well there are so many things I want to write, but really none I want to publish, so the notebook wins over technology this round...soon maybe.